It's the little things

Today I woke up at 6:22 30 minutes past the time I am supposed to wake up. Ideally I would like to wake up drink some tea and rest before my day starts- but too often I find myself stuck in a comatose like state- barely being able to open my eyes. My two alarms go off several times before I finally grumble- roll out of bed, and find something to wear for the day. I have just enough time to brush my teeth, put lotion on my face, brush my hair and make it out the door by 6:50. If I leave any later chances are I won't make it to the office to open up the floor right at 7:30. My boss gets very mad if we are not at the desk right at 7:30. I have to work to understand that 7:30 is 7:30. 1-5 minutes later is no longer 7:30 to my boss. My internal clock doesn't quite work that way. Which is why I struggle to see the importance of sitting down at a desk right at 7:30. People don't even come into the office until 8:30. We can only get up from the desk when someone relieves us for our bathroom break. With that said there are some perks to working a desk job- consistent pay, health benefits, vacation days- yet I more often then not find little meaning throughout the day. I am just getting by today so that I can live tomorrow. When someone asks me how my day was I typically answer with- it happened. My thoughts for today were as followed: Shit I don't want to go to work to place where people where my boss doesn't like me. I still need to decide what my last day will be. Will it be the very end of December or towards the middle? Crap why didn't I think about what I will wear today last night. I need to put lotion on so my face doesn't dry out, brush my teeth, and run out the door! I really need to test my blood- I'll do it at the office. Bolus for coffee now. Pray I am not high. I am going to die at 40. Shit it is 6:47 I gotta go. Waiting in line for coffee- I shouldn't be buying this- but I want it. :/ On train- My bags are heavy I am hot, and I am want a seat. Will I make it on time? I am tired. I don't feel well. I get a seat and then one stop later give it up to an elderly woman- which I am happy to do, but I wonder why none of the men around me offer to do the same. I get to work early- YES. I think of my friend Aviva and write her a letter. I email my best friend to ask her to remind me of a funny story- wondering if she will respond as soon as I want her to. I remember that I have busy office work to do. I do that. As I prepare for school I am reminded of how difficult registering for classes can be. This is as far as I got for recording my thoughts that day. As I reread this I decided that I must find meaning in my days to come. The following day here are the small things I did to find meaning. I went to the New York Public Library on my break. I saw some great art and I felt inspired to collaborate on a new piece. After work I walked to the art supply store- I am incredibly thankful that I can walk all over NYC. I don't need a car and there is so much to see as I walk these magnificent and sometimes over crowded streets. I went home after the art store and drank a glass of wine and painted. :)

"The very idea of a bird is a symbol and a suggestion to the poet."

I have lived in New York city for almost five years and as I reflect on the big move I realize that It is without a doubt the love of my life. The culture, food, art, music, and theatre- It is the most deliciously intoxicating place to learn and grow as an individual. No relationship is ever perfect and this city is definitely with its faults, but overall it is a place where I have been able to plant the seed for the creative individual I hope to be. I have always surrounded myself with people that I want to be more like, and I am so thankful for the creative friends that I have met along the way that inspire me to try on many different hats. New York is a unique city in that you have so many people striving to find themselves and to express their creativity that you connect on a spiritual level as you journey along the path together. The past year, I have become friends with a street artist named Wing. She has really encouraged my journey with creative expression. I've never really told her how thankful I am for my time with her. I don't know if I would have continued with expressing myself through art had I not met her. She said something to me once that will stick with me for the rest of my life. "My mission in creating art is to put a smile on someone's face." "When they walk past one of my birds on the side of a building I hope it makes them happy and changes the course of their day." Art can be simple and accessible- art is for the people. I have a new appreciation for street art that I wouldn't have, had I not met this special friend. Meeting Wing has allowed me to explore art in a new way. It makes me fall in love with New York all over again when I stumble upon a piece of art like one of Wing's mosaics, or two insulin bottles posted on wheat-paste outside gallery row in Chelsea. I can't help but grin from ear to ear when I see art on the streets. For that brief moment in time it feels like I have discovered something magical, a unique experience that is all mine. I am able to own that art for a brief moment in time before moving on with my day, and passing it on to the next person that walks by.

Who is Georgette

Georgette is the name given to my ego. The part of me that goes up and down- worries about my diabetes- sometimes causes depression/mood swings, but that also burst with pride when I do something great. This blog is a place for my thoughts and a gift for the little lady that sits on my shoulder. Georgette- at times a pain in the ass, is merely a tool to help me listen to the yearning of the soul. The name Georgette was inspired by my father- who once told me he named his ego George. My mother always tells my father and me, "You are two peas in the same damn dramatic pod". So without further adieu I give you a Gift for Georgette. I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes right before my 5th birthday. I am now getting ready to turn 27 and embarking on a journey to fully embrace the disease. I am so thankful for those in the diabetic community that have shaped who I am, and made me feel normal on the days where I feel like an irresponsible diabetic. I LOVE my family and my friends with all my heart. I am always embarking on a new adventure- with my not so always trusty side kick diabetes-along for the ride. I am free spirit who wants to explore every part of creativity. And last but not least, I love Steve Martin and Winston Churchill. And don't bother asking why- you'll be just as clueless as me. Georgette is a strange, yet charming name. I decided to look up the meaning, and I discovered that Georgette means farmer, the tiller of the soil. I liked the idea that the little voice on my shoulder could be considered the tiller of my soul. Planting the thoughts for future growth- or spoiled crops depending on how I chose to water the seed. The name Georgette is often associated with people who have a deep yearning to create and express themselves. I chose the name Georgette on a whim, but I find the correlation between my deepest desires and the name I gave that driving voice to be oddly- at one with each other. I let Georgette dream of everything from being a famous jazz singer to being a famous designer. In fact my driving force on the treadmill as I work out is not- "I am being healthy for the diabetes." It is merely a chance to jam out on the i-pod and pretend I am a super amazing singer. Sometimes I dream of singing in front of my office- which is strange because I work as a receptionist at a hedge fund and no one would give a flying leaps ass about a girl singing in front of the office- but none the less it for some strange reason keeps me entertained for the 30 minutes I am running. Today I discovered that a temp basal rate works wonders as I am drinking coffee or tea at breakfast time. I have caffeine every morning and some days my blood sugar will be through the roof two hours later. I typically eat eggs and a handful of nuts for breakfast and drink coffee with no milk and yet it still spikes. I have literally zero carb with a blood sugar of 110 and two hours later I am 275. It makes no sense, but I think that increasing my basal rate for an hour after eating helps to curb the high from spiking! Now if I can just remember to set the temp basal I will be ready to rock and roll.

I am getting ready to turn 27 in just a few months and well my oil feels a little rusty. I have noticed a big change in my body- I have gained weight, I had to start a new medication which has made my body completely out of whack. It is amazing what hormones can do to blood sugar levels. I haven't had a consistent blood sugar for the past few weeks. I wake up high, I go low- I bounce back up. It is the constant yo-yo that I dread. It makes my moods fluctuate, I feel like my head is in the clouds, and that I don't have the ability to think clearly. I currently feel like a mad scientist as I am recording my food, insulin levels, blood sugar levels, exercise, basal rates, carb ratio, correction factors! Blech! I sometimes don't even know where to start- I feel like crap and the beatus continually feels like it controls me. It is really time to change some things- It is a new journey and I am going to try and devote 30 minutes a day to reviewing my blood sugar levels- what I ate and how I can better control my sugars so that I feel I am focused and can tackle the day like anyone else.

Why Won't you run in the rain and play? Let the tears splash all over you.

Happy Valentines Day

Inspire me. Give me a topic to research and write about.

I have no idea what I am going to write about. My uncle told me to write. So I am.

During a yoga class my instructor said that in order to truly give to others we must know our own mental and physical strengths. I took this statement to heart. I have spent the last few months really working on my physical and mental clarity. I am learning to accept myself--good and bad. My diabetes is in the best control it has ever been in! I am embracing my disease, accepting it, and learning to take charge. It is a lot of work, but managing diabetes is the key to finding clarity. With that being said, I still have thoughts of being an Olympic champion ice skater(Michelle Kwan),Meryl Streep, Monet, and God. Alas, I will give my friends the honor of pulling me around the rink like a tug boat, Meryl Streep can kiss my ass, stick figures rock, and well if Mother Teressa can get that close to God so can I. I really want to keep writing, but I am tired, rambling, and over it. Night.

Kambuchacha....

Six months later I am back to blogging. I went on a hiatus due to becoming a nomad for the last 6 months....in New York City. It was exhausting and depressing. I finally settled in a quaint neighborhood in Astoria. It is primarily a Greek and Italian influenced area. My land lords are the cutest couple in the early 80's from the Naples region of Italy. They are the sweetest people on the face of the earth. There names are Catherine and Freddie. Occasionally I accidentally call them Eddie and Freddie. Catherine or Eddie...which do you prefer? I'm going to call her Catherine for now. Catherine loves to grab my face and say oh oh oh what a beautiful girl every time she sees me, followed by can I get you some vino to drink! Doesn't matter what time of day...7 am, 1 pm, 8 pm, You wanta some Vino? I always respond with, "gratzi, gratzi, bella, but not this morning.... I NEED TO LEARN ITALIAN. ANYONE WANT TO BUY ME ROSETTA STONE?

Speaking of drinking alcohol at odd hours of the day I am drinking a new drink that has crazed the streets of NYC. It is called Kombucha. Now, before you judge let me explain. Kombucha is a handmade Chinese tea that is cultured for thirty days. It is supposed to provide nutrients that restore balance and vitality to the body. Because of the fermentation of the tea there is .5% alcohol in the drink.....so basically I'm drinking a wine cooler in the middle of the day. Great. Leave it to the Chinese to invent a healthy alcoholic drink.;)

This is a short blog to get back into the grove of things. I can't wait to fill you all in on the past 6 months of my life. Can you believe August 1 marks a year of me living in New York City? I have been through ups and downs and experienced moments of complete hatred for this city, but there's just something about her that keeps me here..... If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. I look forward to the path I am being led down. I do not know where I'll end up, and I'm ok with that for now. :)

A Christmas Song

She was his girl; he was her boyfriend
She be his wife; take him as her husband
A surprise on the way, any day, any day
One healthy little giggling dribbling baby boy
The wise men came three made their way
To shower him with love
While he lay in the hay
Shower him with love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around
Not very much of his childhood was known
Kept his mother Mary worried
Always out on his own
He met another Mary for a reasonable fee, less than
Reputable as known to be

His heart was full of love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around
When Jesus Christ was nailed to the his tree
Said "oh, Daddy-o I can see how it all soon will be
I came to she'd a little light on this darkening scene
Instead I fear I spill the blood of my children all around"

The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around
So the story goes, so I'm told
The people he knew were
Less than golden hearted
Gamblers and robbers
Drinkers and jokers, all soul searchers
Like you and me

Rumors insisited he soon would be
For his deviations
Taken into custody by the authorities
Less informed than he.
Drinkers and jokers. all soul searchers
Searching for love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around

Preparations were made
For his celebration day
He said "eat this bread and think of it as me
Drink this wine and dream it will be
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around"
The blood of our children all around

Father up above, why in all this anger have you fill
Me up with love
Fill me love love love
Love love love
Love love
And the blood of our children all around

I wish love, love, love for all of you this Christmas, and for the coming year. I love each of you so much. Be brave this year, stand out in the crowd, do what you fear most, love all you can. We are all together in this world, may we make the most of what we are given.

I like to Chocolat

Well today was quite the adventure. It started with a trip to the salon to color my hair. What color did I go? You will just have to wait until you see me next time. Which will probably be long after I have changed it for the tenth million time. So in other words, you will never know. ;) I'll tell you this much, it's in the hot family. Wah, Wah, Wah.

Now to the big event of the day! NYC received lots of snow Sunday Night! The first snowfall is absolutely breath taking. The streets were completely quite, and I felt like I had the city to myself. That is, until I got smacked with a snowball by my friend Alice.
It is possibly the most snow I have ever seen in my entire life! The roads were completely white, the sidewalk was filled with snow, and it was the first true feeling of Christmas for me. So what should one do on a coooooold snowy day?! A Chocolate Crawl.

Now, I had absolutely no idea what a Chocolate Crawl entailed. (For those of you who know me it doesn't take much convincing to get me to go somewhere.) Just tell me when and where and I'll be there! It could be anything from a Carnality Ball to simply watching C.N.N in your apartment. As long as it is an adventure I am up for the excursion.

The Chocolate Crawl is organized by a non profit group called NYC Food Crawl. Every month the group hosts free monthly food events around the city. The excursion started at 3:00 this afternoon where a group of approximately 50 people met in Washington Square Park to try out different Hot chocolate shops around the city!!! The representative handed out a sheet with 6 shops for us to visit and rate the hot chocolate on a scale from 1-5. We were placed into groups of 6-8 and sent on our way!!!

My group consisted of my friend Alice, her friend Corrine, two girls from Michigan, and last but not least, Melissa. A famous cupcake blogging, chocolate loving, sugar fiend, from none other than Sugarland, Texas. Now what are the odds that a type 1 would get paired with a girl who is completely obsessed with sweets? Too good for words. Melissa works in Public relations with a company whose focus is in Chocolate. Needless to say she took charge of our group. I decided for the sake of keeping Melissa from having a heart attack, I would keep the fact that I have type 1 my little secret. ( I don't think that she could comprehend not having endless amounts of sugar day in and day out.) I had a single sip from each of the four places we visited, really watching my chocolate/sugar intake. This way I could keep my blood sugars in check and still enjoying the finer things in life. A win, win in my opinion. To conclude, the real reason I went on the excursion was to meet new people and see different parts of the city. I love New York City for that very reason. Happy Holidays everyone. I hope your break is as Sweeeeet as mine.

"Life is like a box of Chocolate- you never know what you're going to get."

Give it up for Churchill

I just want to take a brief moment to share my love for Winston Churchill.
I know it is bizarre, but every time I think of him I cannot help but to giggle.
My father once told me a little story about Churchill when he was taking me to school one day.
It goes something like this:
A nagging female by the name of Bessie Braddock says to Churchill, “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill replies with“Madam, you are ugly, and in the morning, I shall be sober.”
What a dry since of humor. I could have married this man.

Now for a more inspirational quote:
"If you are going to go through hell, keep going."

My personal favorite and the one that I am going to make my motto from here on out is:
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
I feel that I am constantly failing, however that enthusiasm in my failings might just be the success I am looking for.

I won't blog everyday, but I was feeling the love. Have a goodnight, drink wine, be merry, and last but not least, I hope that when you wake up you will be both sober and pretty.

It is getting cooooooold in the city!!!!! I ran three miles last night! Knocked my time down to 30:44!


I attempted to go on a jog today, but I only made it a mile because my pants kept falling down!!! A bare butt and 30 degree weather will most definitely keep you jogging!

Now let's get to business. My internet and cable are out. I am now at Starbucks finishing my work. I get two free hours thanks to my starbucks gold card!

I think Starbucks should have a cotton candy latte. How yummy would that be?! Irish Creme is another one I wish they would make.
And for the holidays they should at least incorporate one coffee drink with liquor. Rum and Vanilla in a latte sounds delicious.

This city is an amazing place to live. Everyday I find myself meeting new people. Right now I am sitting with my roommate, a brilliant comedic actress from Iowa and her boyfriend who is an artist, (think Van Gogh meets Seurat). He works for the Whitney.

I find myself continually surrounded by such talented and educated people. I am hoping that I can learn something from every single person I meet in the city. It is a fantastic place to live because of the diverse nature of the city. "Turn every corner there's something new". This lyric is from the song, "Nothing is too Wonderful to be True". I am constantly torn because in the few months I have lived here I have developed such a love for NYC. It is in many ways the perfect place for someone in their early 20's to live. However, I am also torn in which direction to follow. I went to school for acting, thinking for the past 4 + years of my life that I had to be on the stage. Unfortunately, the confidence in my craft, or lack their of a craft is dwindling. I suddenly feel like I know nothing. I spent time being frustrated, feeling like I was a waste of time to my professors. (Which I am sure I was.) I was torn down and never built back up. I take partial responsibility for that. I am always hard on myself and always will be. I guess I have to accept who I am. I must learn to accept the good qualities as well as the bad qualities.
I constantly find myself having a sense of loss. The genuine fear of never finding my calling has settled in. I am a dreamer and without a dream I have nothing. I now must be an adult: Manage my health, pay my bills, become less and less dependent on people to help me. This is a scary journey that everyone goes through, but I seem to be struggling more with the ways of life than most. How does one find contentment with what they have? I have so much. Love and support surrounds me. But once again I have to find these things on my own. No one can provide the sense of security that I need but me. Where does one go next? I hope that I can find my gift, my passion, my minuscule contribution to the world.
Direction is what I need. How does one find the right direction?

*Sorry for my run-on sentences and bad grammar.*

Ok so I have never done a blog before. Never thought I would, but alas here I am. This blog is primarily a journal for me. (Read my run-on sentences, bad grammar, and incessant ramblings if you wish.)
I am currently training to run a half marathon. I am going to keep log on this page of what I do daily to hold myself accountable. .....With that thought maybe I should keep track of my blood sugars too. (Told you this would be full of incessant ramblings.) Welcome to the brain of Margaret Shippey.

Today I ran three miles at a pace of 10:22 per mile. I am working on endurance instead of speed. (Keep in mind the tortoise did when the race.)
You may wonder why I am training to run???.....It is to see how disciplined I can make my monkey mind. There is an

Now on to blood sugars: Yikes. Today was a little up and down. Not feeling so great.
Note: These numbers probably won't make sense unless your name is or you have type 1 diabetes.
311
438
315
88
Gross. I am almost embarrassed to put this up for public viewing. I need to get better control.
I have a doctor's appointment at the Naomi Berri Diabetes Clinic at Columbia University. Hopefully my new doctor will be able to give me some great tips on managing my insulin pump and blood sugar levels!

Today I spent some time in the Upper East side. I had planned to have my art day by visiting the MET, but I forgot that it is closed on Mondays. :(
So instead I spent some time walking in Central Park, and reading a play called Sin by Wendy Macleod. (With my starbucks coffee of course....worst addiction ever)I ended my day by having an early dinner at my friend Aline's apartment in Astoria.

Goodnight!